I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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