I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
