youre lurking in front of me
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
