we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
