In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
your like the ambassador to my penis.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs