So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
3 2 1 whiskey
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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