Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?

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  (210): Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head? http://tfl.nu/lmud
  Replies (43) Good night (2531) Bad night (1074)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.

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  (407): Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night. http://tfl.nu/8tsr
  Replies (25) Good night (918) Bad night (3486)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.

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  (732): When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest. http://tfl.nu/kqsj
  Replies (29) Good night (673) Bad night (5221)
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  (562): View more from California

  he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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  (562): he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8. http://tfl.nu/qal7
  Replies (13) Good night (4490) Bad night (1098)
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  (510): View more from California

  You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

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  (510): You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink http://tfl.nu/uf46
  Replies (3) Good night (2936) Bad night (885)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.

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  (719): I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed. http://tfl.nu/z9qp
  Replies (7) Good night (2829) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night

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  (214): Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/b3zy
  Replies (3) Good night (1944) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

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  (217): Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way http://tfl.nu/0knp
  Replies (9) Good night (2954) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex

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  (270): Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex http://tfl.nu/j5jn
  Replies (5) Good night (1757) Bad night (489)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.

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  (601): The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know. (615): My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens. http://tfl.nu/91vw
  Replies (10) Good night (1880) Bad night (487)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.

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  (813): My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me. http://tfl.nu/3nzi
  Replies (9) Good night (948) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....

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  (740): i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people.... http://tfl.nu/0ph5
  Replies (6) Good night (462) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.

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  (703): I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT. http://tfl.nu/cx57
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac

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  (443): yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac http://tfl.nu/yca7
  Replies (1) Good night (324) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.

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  (508): Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery. http://tfl.nu/69lt
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (240)

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