Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
