i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
