Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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