I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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