wanna go halves on a baby?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sext me about skeletons
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
