There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
