didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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