dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
