Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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