I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There are leaves in my underwear?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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