also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
