Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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