The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
