either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
