Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
