I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Two words: nipple clamps
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