I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
