what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
