I think my fart just growled at me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
