hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
