I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
