i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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