something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
And then he peed in my hair
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