Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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