OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
