Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
