This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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