dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize