ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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