Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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