it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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