You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
As shirtless as possible
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
