Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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