My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
