the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
