we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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