I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
