This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You are a genius and a whore.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
