do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
one might say we're banned from that church
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
