Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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