Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
