Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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