You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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