I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
