i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
