Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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