yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
