Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
and you fell through a lawn chair
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