dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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