ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
