Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
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The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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