WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
