Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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