I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
