I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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