The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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