My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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