He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize