for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
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Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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