I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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